The home I currently live in has seen almost twenty-three years of memories. It has served as the retirement and final home of six dogs, including one sweet girl who died at the early age of seven, and is the current home of her daughter, Little Lucy.
It is the first and only home I have bought in my life. I commuted to the University of Michigan, earning my bachelor’s degree in communications/public Relations with a minor in Sociology through many nights of studying in what is now my oldest son’s bedroom.
In our younger days, my ex-husband and I hosted many parties and family gatherings in this home. After a crazy night of partying, we literally almost burnt down our deck because we had too large a fire!
My mom, who is now passed on to the next journey after death, spent many a day on that big, beautiful deck in the backyard, which she jokingly would say, “I am going outside to sit on my deck.”
Both of my sons were conceived and brought home here a few days after delivery from the hospital. The job I have today began during the pregnancy of my oldest son, and this home has hosted my office space in many areas, including:
- Bedroom number two
- The main floor in the living room against the southwest wall
- In the finished basement during the pregnancy of my youngest son
- Back upstairs in the living room, against the southwest wall
- In the sunroom
- Currently, in the living room again but on the southeast wall
When my oldest was around five, and my youngest was almost two, my mom spent her last Thanksgiving in this home, where she lovingly taught me how to make the feast just as she did. My mother’s last moments on this earth were spent with us in our home – her mark has been embedded into its history.
Moving on from adult to children’s parties. There have been many children’s birthday parties, Cub Scouts get-togethers, cookouts and campouts, neighborhood kids gathering places, treehouses, BMX bike trails and jumps hand dug and built by my youngest son, a neighborhood friend and my ex-husband to snow forts, snowboarding hills and jumps in the wintertime (when it used to snow!).
Many sicknesses have been nursed here, school morning breakfasts and after-school homework time, First Communion parties and Confirmation gatherings, a graduation party for my oldest, and moments of contention during the divorce. I fought hard and long to keep this home and won that case in the divorce. The thought of packing up and hiring a moving company after all of these occurrences seems almost unbearable.
According to Psychology Clinic, “The emotional impact of moving is in the top 5 most stressful situations we experience across a lifespan, it’s up there with divorce. People develop attachments to their houses and communities that can be as strong as the relationships with their families,”.
In a New York Times article titled The Psychology of Moving, they write, “Whether one moves frequently or almost never, moving is an intensely emotional experience. The underlying psychological issues involved in real estate decisions are of great interest to therapists and psychologists, because housing and moving are filled with symbolism, the hope for new beginnings, crushing disappointments, loss, anxiety and fear,”.
Emotions people might experience when moving:
- Anxiety
- Sadness
- Grief
- Isolation
- Stress
- Excitement
- Confusion
- Anger
How does relocation affect mental health?
Psych Central states, “Relocation depression isn’t a formal diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-5). However, what you feel is real and has an explanation. Moving depression falls under subtypes of depression, and it can be sparked by:
- Fear of the unknown
- Feeling lost or isolated
- Loss of support network
- Difficulty finding new connections
- Disruption to your routine
- Overwhelming use of your emotional and physical resources,”.
For me, it depends. For example, I happen to live across the street from an amazing, clean, private lake with an outstanding view. However, when I find a house that meets my expectations and is on the lake, you better believe I will be ready to move.
Although, as I am writing this, I feel deeply sentimental. As already mentioned, my children were born here, and I am raising them here. I have lived here for many decades. Okay, maybe I changed my mind; I think grief would set in quickly. Let’s see what the experts say.
According to the University Hospital System of Northeastern Ohio, moving is one of the top five traumatic events in life. Moving is the third most stressful event after the death of a loved one and divorce.
To further add insult to injury, some unfortunate people may face eviction in their life, which adds another layer of suck. A fellow friend of mine grew up most of their life in their home with their parents, who later lost their rental home due to eviction. Sadly, they had only two weeks to pack up their whole life. It was an agonizing time with late nights and long days. It turned out better for them, but in that instance, they unquestionably couldn’t imagine that.
Psychological effects of moving frequently as a child
I once had a friend who would move every four to five years, even when her children were little. They would move into a home, renovate it, and then she would get bored and decide to move again. Her children struggled in school and consequently, she is a person with no long-term friendships and is discontented with life.
The American Psychology Association reports, “The researchers found that the more times people moved as children, the more likely they were to report lower life satisfaction and psychological well-being at the time they were surveyed, even when controlling for age, gender and education level. The research also showed that those who moved frequently as children had fewer quality social relationships as adults,”.
Emotional effects of moving
In conclusion, moving can be a profound journey, rich with emotional waves of nostalgia, anxiety, and excitement. While it can be daunting, it’s also an opportunity for new beginnings. If we can embrace the changes, cherish our memories, and remember home is where our story unfolds, we will be much happier.