As a mama of two sons, I am extremely grateful that as soon as I felt them kicking around in my womb, I immediately fell madly in love with each of them. That love deepened even more when I first held them in my arms after their birth. Maybe this doesn’t sound unusual, but for me, the woman who vowed to be a working, traveling mom, not seeing much of my children – is truly a miracle.
Instead of being that corporate, traveling professional, I chose a less demanding position as a creative representative for a commercial photography firm where I could work from home unless I was at client meetings or attending nighttime networking events.
Furthermore, instead of sending my babies off to daycare, I was fortunate to have my mom come to my home three days a week and my mother-in-law on Thursdays to watch over and care for my sons. It was a wonderful arrangement. To clarify, there is nothing wrong with daycare – it was just a personal preference, plus we couldn’t afford it, and the grandmas were more than happy to care for their grandbabies for free.
However, those little baby, toddler years went by with a blink of an eye, and soon they were off to school, out in the big world on their own. I missed them terribly! Fortunately, because I had the privilege of working from home, I had many opportunities to be an involved parent in all of their activities, including but not limited to:
- Morning greeter at their elementary school for ten years
- Art room helper
- Classroom helper
- Fun run volunteer
- Jump rope for Heart volunteer
- Field day volunteer
- End of the year school carnival volunteer
- Fifth-grade graduation and fun day celebrations
- Pop and distribute popcorn on Fridays
- Book Fair volunteer
- Holiday shop volunteer
- Catechism teacher
- Summer’s End Fair volunteers for our church
- Little League Baseball coach
- Den leader in Cub Scouts
In Cub Scouts and at the school carnival, my sons’ favorite activity, as well as the other children, was face painting. Of course, they loved the rides at the church fair, the bounce houses, the cookies and treats, and the carnival games run by either the teachers at the school carnival or the older scouts at the annual Blue and Gold Ceremony.
According to Scouting of America, “Blue and Gold Banquets are a tradition in Cub Scout packs. They are a celebration of the anniversary of the founding of Scouting America on February 8, 1910, and therefore usually take the place of the February pack meeting. Often, badges of rank are awarded. The Arrow of Light ceremony may even be included as the 5th graders cross over to a troop. Sometimes community leaders or special guests are invited to attend. The meal can be a pot-luck dinner or other arrangements can be made – whatever suits your pack,”.
How can schools engage parents?
Thankfully, my sons’ elementary school had exceptional teachers, staff, and principals who worked hard at encouraging parent involvement both in the classroom and at special events. Overall, we had an abundance of parents willing to help and be involved in their child’s education and extracurricular activities.
Of course, some did not participate, and still others, like me, who were part of the same group of parents who were consistently available to take part at almost every opportunity and who frequently said “yes” when asked.
The National Center for Education Statistics reports that, “Although schools almost universally sponsored various programs for parents, parents frequently did not attend these events. School events that feature some interaction with students’ teachers appear to attract more parents than those that exhibit student performances or demonstrations. Parents were more likely to attend conferences with their children’s teachers than any other type of school event open to parents, with 57 percent of public elementary schools that held conferences indicating that “most or all” parents attended regularly scheduled parent-teacher conferences held during the 1995- 96 school year.
Attendance at an open house or back-to-school night was also very high, with about half (49 percent) of the schools that held such events reporting that most or all parents attended. In contrast, about one-third of all schools (36 percent) indicated that most or all parents attended arts events in which their children participated, and even fewer schools reported high levels of parent attendance at academic events such as science fairs (19 percent) or sports events (12 percent) when their children participated in these events,”.
Importance of parental involvement in child development
My mom was very involved in my childhood activities and schooling, so much so that she even worked at my school as a playground assistant and as a literacy coach for the students who struggled with reading and comprehension. She was a huge advocate for education, which is why I became involved in my own children’s education experience. She made a difference for me, and I did the same for my sons. It not only helps with self-esteem, social skills, and confidence in learning, but it also gives a child more chances for success.
In fact, according to the National Institute of Health, “Findings suggest that within-child improvements in parent involvement predict declines in problem behaviors and improvements in social skills but do not predict changes in achievement. Between-child analyses demonstrated that children with highly involved parents had enhanced social functioning and fewer behavior problems. Similar patterns of findings emerged for teacher- and parent-reports of parent involvement,”.
More specifically, on those days when my sons were feeling “off”, sad, or unsure of their social circle, just knowing that they could count on me being there at different points of the day made them feel more at ease, and it was something they could look forward to. Sometimes when they were struggling, I would show up for lunch with something special they liked to eat and sit at their lunch table with them.
Sadly, those opportunities ended in middle school, as during those years, they really did not want us around, especially with their peers watching! And that is perfectly normal and okay.
Lack of parental involvement in education
As an involved parent, I often saw what happened to those children who had parents who never attended their special events or classroom parties. You could see the sadness in their eyes when I would show up, along with the other involved parents, and their parents were nowhere to be found. It wasn’t because these parents were at work or busy with smaller children at home; it was simply because they didn’t care enough to be there. It broke my heart for them.
Verywell Mind found that a lack of parental involvement in education may cause, “Children with uninvolved parents may:
Be anxious or stressed due to the lack of family support
Be emotionally withdrawn
Fear becoming dependent on other people
Have an increased risk of substance abuse
Have to learn to provide for themselves
Exhibit more delinquency during adolescence,”.
Parent involvement activities
In conclusion, staying involved in your child’s education—whether big or small moments—builds connection, confidence, and joy that leaves a lasting impact on their lives.